In the Name of the King - A Dungeon Siege Tale
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Ah, what could have been… a movie with all the ingredients of a blockbuster minus one key ingredient : People Who Can ACT!
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale [Link To Our Coverage] should have been a winner, the problem is.. Jason Staham is the only person who can act in this entire movie. Perhaps thats a bit harsh, because Ray Liotta is an excellent actor but he is so miscast as the evil Gallian, its humorous.
Quick Summary: A man named Farmer sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son — two acts committed by the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors who are controlled by the evil Gallian [Ray Liotta].
Farmer [Jason Statham] discovers he is actually the son of King Konreid [Burt Reynolds] and leads the assault on Gallian’s evil empire and the King’s turncoat nephew.
Great in theory right? Here’s the problem(s) with the film. Leelee Sobieski plays Muriella, who is supposed to be a warrior princess. They try to throw her in every possible scene, but she can’t act. She’s done up with makeup, hair extensions and designer battle armor but she’s not believeable. Ok, I can live with Leelee’s shortcomings, because at least she’s nice to look at but lets dig further into the movie’s holes.
The obvious similarities between this movie and Lord of the Rings are everywhere. The Krugs are almost identical to the Uruk-hai warriors from LOTR. The plot is very similar, so are the weapons and tactics. The problem when you mimic a billion dollar award winning film, is you are setting the bar quite high.
Things you didn’t know about the medieval period : You thought it was an era of filthy women, stinky men and putrid old clothing. Wrong! Apparently it was nothing like we thought, here’s some shining examples of Midieval fashion, according to the Director and Writers of In the Name of the King :
1. Leather and designer clothing was popular. Ray Liotta’s character Gallian wears custom tailored leather pants with a button up shirt. His hair always looks like he just walked out of the salon, with not one strand out of place or without gel.
2. Hair Stylists and makeup professionals. They must have been abundant, because Leelee Sobieski’s character was immaculate in every scene. Too immaculate for the timeframe. Dirty the women up a bit, make them look the part.
3. Apparently it was popular to color your hair blonde in these times of filth, diesease and a lack of personal hygiene. Burt Reynolds, Leelee Sobieski and the dreadful Ron Perlman all have blonde hair… but the eybrows don’t match.. so.. hmm.. wait a minute.. fake blondes? Burt Reynolds is going to give me nightmares, his appearance is frightening and his performance was pathetic. To give you an idea on how bad he was, his character in Striptease was 25x more convincing than that of the King.
4. Breast implants : Leelee Sobieski shows them and Claire Forlani’s impants are exploding out of her gown in every scene, as were Kritanna Loken’s. I never did very well in my history classes, but I’m certain implants weren’t available to women for another 800-900 years. I appreciate the eye candy, but … it just doesn’t do anything to justify all the word they put into the rest of the costumes. If they are going to spend tens of thousands on making sure the Kings army was dressed appropriately to the period, why not the women?
In the end, I never got hooked on the plot nor a single character. Claire Forlani’s character loses a child in the beginning, she sobs for a few seconds..than forgets about it the next moment. There’s no buildup, no intensity.. and good lord have i mentioned how bad the acting was enough?
In the Name of the King - A Dungeon Siege Tale is a disappointing movie, that had the potential to be a real winner. Uwe Boll seems to make mess out of most movies he touches, I’m not sure why the studios keep handing him millions. I calculate the movie lost 45 million dollars… his previous movies lost around 30 Million [BloodRayne, Alone in the Dark]
The battle scenes are decent, but nothing original. You’ll watch the movie because its the only one left in the store, but I don’t think you’ll be impressed either.
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